10 reasons why I don’t want to fall in love:

1) I don’t want to have to throw away all of my clothes that you’ve touched because I can still feel your fingers burning holes into the small of my back and the back of my neck; you burn holes into my ribs and my throat and my heart and we both know I’m not going to survive this.
2) when I was 4 my uncle died and even though my aunt didn’t love him anymore she still became addicted to pain pills because she thought that if she loved a little harder or cared a little longer he might not have sped off and been killed on impact; I don’t want to become addicted to pain pills because I still feel the pain that you left me over And over again.
3) I don’t want to have to become a nurse so I can fix other peoples broken hearts so I don’t have to focus on mine.
4) when I was 13 I was diagnosed with insomnia I dont want to have one more thing to lie awake and think about while you are laying awake and thinking with another girl.
5) I don’t want to have to start throwing away things that remind me of you with my left hand because you would hold my right hand and it’s so attached to you that it might want to keep all of your things.
6) my mom always gets mad when the water heater runs out; I don’t want my mom to be mad at me because I sat in the shower untill it’s so cold that we have to go to the hospital because I could have hyperthermia.
7) I don’t want to stop reading cute love story’s because you used to act them out for me untill I fall in love the way you fall asleep slowly; then all at once.
8) in college my dad lost 50 pounds because he missed his moms cooking; I don’t want to have to stop eating because I miss the way your pancakes taste.
9) I don’t want my throat to be raw and bloody because I woke up at 3 am screaming your name.
10) I don’t want to start smoking to burn the flowers that you planted inside my ribs and lungs because you said you wanted to “cover up my scars” but really all you’ll be doing is give me more burn scars.

this is really mixed up and idk (via acidyou)